Choose a Lifestyle that is Right for You

It's always fascinating to see how society tries to force individuals to comply. One of the most potent motivators we experience is social conditioning. Most of it takes place without our awareness makes it so successful. People would struggle to maintain their views without knowing where they originated from. Unfortunately, most of us are only "products of our environment." We seldom become what we intentionally want to be. Rather, individuals with whom we spend the most time encourage us to believe what we believe. When it comes to relationships and sex, society has a strong opinion. The established model is heterosexual marriage. This is the greatest strategy to maintain order while assuring the "village's" replication. People who enter this condition raise a family, which helps sustain the population. Married couples also contribute to the general stability of society. They prefer to settle down in a location and grow some roots. The emphasis often changes from individual satisfaction to family fulfillment. It's a fantastic idea that works in most instances.

However, many individuals are not suited to this way of life. However, society fails to provide the message that it is OK to choose a lifestyle suited for oneself. Many people assume that if someone does not fit this model, something is wrong with them. People may, however, select from a variety of lifestyles. Of course, there is always the option of being single. This is the perfect way of life for many individuals. Some individuals identify as gay or bisexual. Their choice deviates from the norm. Then some like the "swinging" way of life. Monogamy is not a viable option for them. These are only a handful of the options available to individuals when selecting what they want out of life.

Making decisions that make you happy is important for having a full life. Too many individuals let others make choices for them and then wonder why they are unhappy. You are the one person responsible for living your life. You must choose items that correspond to your genuine essence. Trying to live a lifestyle that is not authentic to us will lead to failure. We've all heard of the guy who abandons his wife for another man. He steps "out of the closet." People are left wondering why he would do such a thing. The explanation is that he was merely attempting to live a life that did not suit him. He may not have understood his sexual orientation when he married. Nonetheless, our culture's demands prevent exploration into what matches this person. He was taught that he should marry and have a family from an early age. That is societal indoctrination.

Naturally, this is not to say that marriage or family are inherently flawed. The idea is that they are not suitable for everyone. However, the opinions of others are another potent weapon. People who do not conform to cultural norms are mocked. What, for example, do persons who indulge in group sex think? The bulk of society despises such individuals. They call them all sorts of things. Individuals who profess to be "open-minded" judge these folks to death. Weapons are used to force them to comply since they do not fit into the right model. Because violence is illegal in this age, different methods are used. The most important is to let them know they "do not fit in." This carries a lot of weight. Everybody wants to be a part of something. Our humanity needs it. Man (as a species) is a sociable animal. We are built to engage with others.

 When pursuing personal happiness, we must choose a sexual/romantic environment that suits us. We must allow ourselves the flexibility to make the best decision. If being married and in a monogamous relationship works for you, go for it. However, if something else appeals to you, it is preferable to pursue it. A word of caution: staying committed to your choice might be challenging. There will be many individuals attempting to influence you. This will be done under the guise of wanting you to be happy. Of course, they assume that they know what is best for you. You are the only one who has the authority to make this choice.

Here's a typical example. I once worked with a man who believed he was made for the swinger life. He was in several long-term, monogamous partnerships during his dating experience. He informed me that even though the ladies were great, he was unhappy in such settings. They were perfect prospects for marriage. He was not, unfortunately for them. He discovered that another lifestyle suited him better after some investigation. He made the intentional decision to pursue it. Until he met someone "special." She was perfect in every way except one: she didn't want to swing. As you could expect, problems developed. This was something we discussed many times. He had to let her go in the end. Neither of them would find satisfaction in imitating the other's way of life. He eventually found someone who shared his interests. They are now quite happy together.

To summarize, be careful of the decisions you make in your life. Recognize that you were subjected to a great deal of conditioning. Society has a way of conditioning us to act in certain ways. Resist the urge to go against your own values. If another road appeals to you more, take it. Your happiness is determined by the choices you make. Those closest to you may have ideas and judgments, but they do not live your life. You must live a full and rich life.